04.15.06

Irish I was drunk

Would everyone who is 1/1000000th Irish please quit using that as an excuse to br drunk all the time?
"Oh, well I'm part Irish and we're known to drink a little and get a little rowdy."

Okay, fine, if you your parents, grandparents, or even great-grandparents (I'll bend a little) came over from Ireland and you can trace your roots back and have your family crest tattooed on your back, then yes, you can claim this. For every other white-bred mutt of an American (that's most of us in case you didn't know) : You're white, you drink because you're 21, or 31 or you're thirsty, or all the cool kids are doing it, or, hell, maybe you just like the taste of beer, but you are not drinking because you are genetic programmed to do so. If you were, you would not be a happy-go-lucky Irish man at the pub, you'd be an alcoholic.

Here is a small quiz I've designed to determine your level of drunk Irishman:

    Questions:
  1. Is your hair red?
  2. Have you had Guiness beer?
  3. Where do you celebrate St. Patrick's Day?
  4. Do you listen to U2?
  5. Are you Catholic?
  6. How many Irish drinking songs do you know?
  7. Have you ever worn a kilt?
  8. True or False? The darker the beer the better.
  9. True or False? The cheaper the beer the better.
    Answers:
  1. Is your hair red?
    3 pts - Yes, naturally
    2 pts - No, but my parents/sibilings have red hair OR You have reddish-brown or strawberry blonde hair.
    1 pt - No, but I've died my hair red.
    0 pts - No.

  2. Have you had Guiness beer?
    3 pts - I've drunk it.
    2 pts - I've drank it.
    1 pt - You know what the bottle looks like.
    0 pts - You have no idea what Guiness is.

  3. Where do you celebrate St. Patrick's Day?
    3 pts - In Ireland
    2 pts - at an Irish pub
    1 pt - at the local bar
    0 pts - at home
    * 1 Bonus Point if you drink green beer on St. Patty's Day
    * 2 Bonus Points if you drink green beer before noon on St. Patty's Day

  4. Do you listen to U2?
    2 pts - No
    0 pts - Yes
    (I just don't like U2, get over it)

  5. Are you Catholic?
    3 pts - Yes, and faithfully practicing.
    2 pts - Technically, yes.
    1 pt - No, but you've worn a catholic school girl uniform
    0 pts - No.

  6. How many Irish drinking songs do you know? + 1 point for each Song you can fully recite
    + 2 points for adding it in the comments section
    - 2 points for each song you counted that you learned from the Dropkick Murphy's

  7. Have you ever worn a kilt?
    Guys:
    3 pts - You've worn a kilt in public not as part of a costume (traditional Irish wedding perhaps)
    2 pts - You own a kilt
    1 pt   - You've worn one once
    0 pts - You wouldn't be caught dead in a skirt
    - 1 point for wearing shorts underneath
    - 1 point for only wearing a kilt to a punk show
    Gals:
    3 pts - You own a barmaids outfit
    2 pts - You own a pleated plaid skirt
    1 pt - You own a Catholic school girl's uniform (no that it matters for this quiz, but every girl should have one)
    0 pts - None of the above.
    * 1 Bonus Point for wearing a petticoat

  8. True or False? The darker the beer the better.
    2 pts - True
    0 pts - False

  9. True or False? The cheaper the beer the better.
    2 pts - True
    0 pts - False
    + 1 Bonus point if you've drank for free based solely on your Irish heritage



  10. Bonus points: + 1 for reading "point" as "pint"
    + 1 for finishing a beer before finishing the quiz
    + 1 for being drunk before you started


    Scoring:
    25+ pts - You win, You are a Drunk Irishman!
    20-24 pts - You're more drunk than Irish or more Irish than drunk
    15-19 pts - You could easily enjoy a drink with a real Irish drunk, but quit calling yourself one
    10-14 pts - Go kiss the Blarney Stone and get yourself some bonus points
    0-9 pts - You're not drunk or Irish. How did you get here?

    emmalene at 14:07

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