10.17.05

Scientology Vs. Kabbalah

So I've been thinking of joining a cult lately and since Heaven's Gate doesn't seem to be taking new recruits I'm looking into the ever-popular Kabbalah and Scientology groups. After all, I'll get to hang with celebs!

So, first thing's first: Celebrity Scorecards.

Scientology	Kabbalah
Tom Cruise Kirstie Alley Juliette Lewis Kelly Preston John Travolta Jenna Elfman Leah Remini Patrick Swayze Doug E. Fresh Jason Lee Beck Issac Hayes Kate Moss(?) Lisa Marie Presley(?) Katie Holmes (?)	Madonna (aka Ester) Sandra Bernhard (Madonna totally stole her idea) Britney Spears Kevin Federline Ashton Kutcher Demi Moore Paris Hilton Courtney Love Mick Jagger Guy Ritchie Donna Karan Roseanne Barr Elizabeth Taylor (?) Michael Jackson (?) Jerry Hall (?) Winona Ryder (?) Monica Lewinsky (?) Sarah Ferguson (?) Lindsay Lohan (?) Victoria Beckham (aka Posh Spice) (?) David Beckham (?)

I need some fact checkers on these. My random search around the internet for red string wearers lead me down some dark allies, so if you see any up there that are wrong, or if I forgot any major players let me know. Well so far Kabbalah is kicking Scientology's ass, so...

On to the next big seller...high profile church buildings.
Scientology offers the very fabulous Church of Scientology Celebrity Centre

but from what I can tell very few celebs are actually hanging out there. Still...that's a kickin' joint.
Kabbalah's lookin' not so hot here.


And finally those little extras really do help out. Scientology offers a Free Online Personality Test to tell you how bad and wrong you are, AND it's made the cover of Time magazine!
Kabbalah gives new students a Free Book to get started or you can take their online course and we can't forget the $26 red string.

emmalene at 16:45

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